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The Star-Gazer

She looked up at the sky late that night and saw the stars shining brightly. The moon was there too, but the stars had decided that it was time to upstage the moon and light the sky with a light that had never been seen before. The stars had planned and plotted for this day when they would outshine the moon and gain the recognition they deserved in the vast skies of the universe. It was a constant battle that would always be fought. The competition between the heavenly bodies was what made the universe so beautiful. Every star competed to be better than the next one and to shine more beautifully to get the attention of at least one living soul. And that night, the stars wanted the attention of every living soul on earth.

The stars may have failed at that task of gaining a response from every living soul on earth that night. However, they did have the attention of one person, who bothered to watch and admire the beauty that lied in the worlds beyond her own. She was just one of the infinite number of living souls on the planet, yet she was there. That is what mattered to those stars; that they be remembered by at least one person who would carry the memory into other dimensions and other spheres of the living.

Every star in the sky had its own identity to that person. Each one counted as a star in that vast sky. She could never count the number of stars that were there, but each and every one had a meaning that surpassed the very meaning of life. Life was about beauty. It was supposed to be about joy and happiness. But down the line of time, the meaning of joy had been lost. Hence, the living were taught what the value of joy was when they felt sorrow and pain. And now the meaning of sorrow and pain had been lost. Joy and happiness was unheard of by many.

Thoughts flowed in her head, smoothly and slowly. Each thought, like each star, getting attention. Everything was worth something. Nothing was worthless. If life had meaning, then death held a meaning as great as that of life itself. Death had meaning! It held the hope that life had lost. Life and Death had always competed for greater meaning and now Death finally held that meaning that life was so rapidly losing. Life was a circle of pain and sorrow for many. Life had to be lived, beyond the pain.

Finally, her eyes strayed from the stars. They had lost all the attention they had. Once more, they were worthless. Their meaning was lost once again. These thoughts were not in her mind. She could not feel the pain of the stars. She could not even feel the pain of the people around her. She didn’t even know if she could feel the pain within her. She felt numb.

Pain held many forms. They were beyond human comprehension. Pain could not be described. It could only be felt and when it was felt, it hurt. It hurt the soul, like only pain could. Pain was everywhere. It lurked in death and life, in sorrow and joy. It was part of the soul. The soul only thought that it felt no pain. But the pain would return and haunt every soul once again.

She was not really numb to the pain. She just felt too much pain to recognise it. It had entrapped her soul and her very being. It was there. It could be felt if only the soul knew any different. But her soul knew nothing but pain. Pain was a normal feeling that was as much a part of her as was her face. She did not know any joy, so she did not dislike the pain. She was the pain.

She turned around and walked. She didn’t know which direction she was walking but she walked. She was in a vast field, an empty field, like a human soul stripped of all emotion. The only thing to guide her were the stars. They wanted to guide her, but she did not want to be guided. She just wanted to walk. And walk, she did. And then she stopped. She had walked and now she had stopped. She had moved in life to another place, even if it was only a few feet away. But she had moved. She had gone on with her life. And the stars were her witnesses.

The pain that held her soul pulled hard. It tried all it could to induce hurt. But it was old. The pain was too old to be felt. It had grown weak. It had weakened over time like life had. It was giving way to some iota of joy, like life was giving way to death.

The stars shone like infinite jewels along the vast cloth of the universe. They wanted to guide her and help her. They wanted to give her that joy that she did not know. She had given them the attention that they so longed for and now they wanted to serve her. They were her ready and willing servants as long as she lived.

But, alas, she would live no more. As the pain let go of her soul, life left her too. Death had its hand on her now and was taking her away. She never had and never would feel joy. She never would know anything but pain. The memories of those stars lay lost that night. They were left to shine once more in vain.